Utah Phone Calls*

I love random phone calls from 3000 miles away, from people you never expect to hear from. I used to get them a lot more often, but I honestly think that some of my guy friends are now afraid to call me because I’m married. I often think about the whole “married girl with guy friends” issue, and I’m really kind of torn. I know there are a lot of people (particularly those of an older generation) who find it strange for a woman to want male friendship outside their marriage to their husbands. But at the same time, my best friends have almost always been male for most of my life. I have just always gotten along better with guys–I find them so much less stressful to be around. haha So I guess what I’m asking is: is okay for a married woman to have male friends?

A very important aspect of this question to consider is whether or not the friendship is shared by the husband. In no way, shape or form do I think that it is okay for someone to pursue a friendship with someone of an opposite sex if the spouse has reasonable objections and concerns about it and had voiced them. But if the husband is also friends with the person, does that make it okay?

Or what about long-standing friendships that existed long before you had even met your spouse… take Tiger for example. We have known each other basically from leaving our mother’s wombs, and have really been close, if not best friends, since childhood. We have seen each other through everything–family tragedy, relationships, life changes, etc, and remain close today. So are pre-existing friendships allowed, or are they too tabooed?

I don’t know what I’m searching for here–it’s just something I think about a lot as I’ve been trying to make more female friends for the first time in my life. I have never been good at being friends with women, I honestly think that it is a skill that I somehow missed out on and am now learning. The female friends that I DO have are mostly friends that I’ve had most of my life, and I don’t know what on earth I’d do without them. But as we are now spaced out all over the province I’ve been forced to make new friends, and I’m finding it tough.

Shop Girl*