What Would You Do?
I really don’t think that I’m someone who is easily offended.
I am generally able to let things slide off my back and accept that sometimes things are said in a moment that aren’t a true reflection of a person’s opinion or feelings toward me.
I also always try to look for the best in people, and I am so aware of how my words and actions affect others, almost to a fault. I will bend over backwards to apologize and accommodate if I think that I’ve hurt someone. I don’t feel it’s my business to get involved in someone else’s personal decisions or business without being explicitly asked.
Of course, everyone will have a different opinion on the matter–that’s your right.
However, every once in a while something happens, and I have trouble letting go.
Every so often something is said that attacks something that I feel is deeply personal. Something that I believe that no one should have a right to get involved with or poke at, regardless of who you are.
Today was one of those days. I felt small.
I felt like I was less than this person, because of choices I’ve made.
Choices that were carefully considered, thought out and made because I knew they were right for me.
I tried to let it roll off my back–I know that it wasn’t done maliciously, but at the same time I felt like it was completely insensitive. A tiny jab that felt like an enormous cut.
Maybe I’m just overly sensitive; maybe I’m just having one of “those” days.
Or maybe I’m right.
So now I’m faced with the hardest decision of all: do I say something, or just let go?
What would you do?
Of course only you can know exactly how to handle the situation; but I think you should say something. Although easier said than done, if you let it go the person won’t have the opportunity to know how that comment affected you and they may make the same mistake again in the future.
I have this same issue in my life from time to time, and I rarely stand up for myself but often wish I had because the behaviour is repeated and I’m upset about it all over again. I think it might have been Oprah that said this, but it has stuck with me over the years; that you teach people how to treat you. By letting things go all the time and not standing up for yourself you are basically telling them that it is ok to treat you that way. Now I know in this case that the person wasn’t purposely trying to hurt you, so I would start the conversation that way, “I know you didn’t mean it to be hurtful…” If you give them this knowledge and they do it again in the future…then you have to evaluate the relationship…
Advice that I rarely follow myself, because it is much easier to say than do…if you decide to say something let me know how it goes and maybe I can learn from you’re bravery…
The Poster Girl
That’s a tough one. I’m one of those people that take everything way too personally so I often feel offended, and yet I know it wasn’t the person’s intention. Well, maybe not offended, but I over-analyze what they said, every tiny off-hand comment, and wonder what they really went by it, if they meant it in a bad way, or a roundabout bad way, or… etc. But Lacey’s right, without saying something, how will that person know not to repeat it?
Let us know how it goes though! And try not to let someone else’s opinion influence how you feel about your own choices; no one else can ever possibly know what the right choice for you is in any circumstance, so they shouldn’t judge.
It’s a tough choice, I think let yourself calm down for a day first and then think about it again. it also depends on your relationship with the person – are you lose enough that you can tell them they were out of line and ask for an apology? Or will it cause more drama than it’s worth?
Overall though remember you are worth more than they’re making you feel.
I would probably not say anything now. But if it happens again, then I would.