I Can Do Hard Things*

Cutting Out Sugar*

Two weeks ago today, I woke up at 7am craving a chocolate bar.

I lay in bed, thinking about what I “needed” at the grocery store that would give me a reasonable excuse to go get one.

As I got into the shower, still thinking about the chocolate bar, I realized that I had a problem. I knew that I hadn’t been eating very well, but seriously craving a chocolate bar before breakfast was new for me.

I stood in front of my mirror, took a hard look at myself and knew I needed to make a change. A reset. I have a addictive personality, particularly with sweets, and all my attempts to eat a balanced diet were failing. Miserably.

So, I made the decision to just… stop. I’ve been off *most* processed sugars for two weeks. I know that my issue is with desserts and treats, so that’s what I decided to take a break from. No candy, no cookies, no pop, no ice cream.

No chocolate.

I recognized that I’ve made some pretty unhealthy habits with junk food that I want to change. I seriously crave something sweet after every meal, including breakfast. It was to the point that I would deliberately eat a tiny dinner so that I could gorge myself on desserts. Instead of one cookie, I would easily eat seven.

…with a pop and other treats on the side.

I was also snacking on crap all. day. long because I never ever felt full. I “rewarded” myself with treats for almost everything, and they just kept getting bigger. A piece of chocolate became a bar, which then became two. I had days where I would have to sit down and actually walk back through everything I had eaten to see if I had had *anything* healthy that day.

I didn’t feel well, and that morning two weeks ago, I felt really out of control. I was adjusting my behavior to satisfy my cravings, and it was a low point for me.

So, I decided to make a change.

I enlisted my sister as my “sponsor” that I could vent to when things got hard.

And they did.

By noon on the first day I was pacing my kitchen, wrestling with horrendous cravings. I was fatigued, irritable and moody. My body felt jittery and nothing I ate tasted good. The headaches came next. It literally felt like withdrawal symptoms as each hour passed.

But I did it. I made it through the first day, then the second. The third day was really hard, but I had two days behind me at that point so I kept going. By the end of that first week I started to feel a little better. Then food started to taste better. The cravings eased a little, and I finally found myself feeling satisfied after meals. The need to eat constantly began to abate.

This week I’ve still had cravings, but they are more out of habit than anything else. My body still craves a treat after meals, or during that mid afternoon slump when I would reward myself with chocolate for getting through another morning with the kids….but it’s better than it was. And each day is a little easier.

I’ve fallen back in love with fruit, which I had often passed because it wasn’t sweet enough unless it was covered in milk chocolate. I’m eating actual, balanced meals. I’m drinking a lot of water. Food tastes better somehow… I swear it’s more flavorful. My moods feel more even and I’ve stopped pacing my kitchen, constantly eating to satisfy a craving that was never satisfied.

I feel in control. And that feels pretty good.

As a side bonus, I’ve lost 6lbs in two weeks. I might get into my regular clothes by autumn after all.

I don’t have an end date, but for now I’m just going to keep going until I don’t want to anymore. I’m taking it one day at a time, and for now, feeling like I’m back in control of my body feels pretty dang good.

It might even feel better than chocolate does, and for me, that’s really saying something. ❤️

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