My Body is Broken*

Why are we still changing clocks back and forth?

I mean, really now. What is the point? My brain feels like it’s 10pm because it is. So if I go to sleep now, my body clock will wake me at my usual 6:30am, which in the new time will be 5:30am which I am just not okay with. So I’m here, trying to stay awake a little later so we’re not all up obnoxiously early tomorrow. Thankfully my kids have always somehow just done really well with time changes and it hasn’t been an issue… but of course since I just wrote that we’ll all be up at 4am.

In other news, I did my little video workout again this morning. It’s for beginners and is only 15 minutes, and I felt really good as I was doing it. Not long after I noticed that my back was a little twingy, and just as we were putting the kids to bed I felt my hips go out. I am currently rocking one hip significantly higher than the other, and in case you’re wondering, it feels really lovely. *sigh*

My body is so broken. I am not giving up, but I guess it means I’ll have to slow down further, and maybe just try working out every other day… and just go for a walk or something on the days in between. Honestly, I’m just so sick of feeling like I can’t do anything because my body will break. I’m trying not to get too frustrated because really, my hips are 1000% better than they were at this point last year, it just feels sometimes like I’ll be like this forever.

Which is a little discouraging.

That being said, I’m trying to keep things in perspective. When I injured my shoulder after I had H, I didn’t think that would ever heal properly. It was so painful, and for a long time I couldn’t even lift my arm over my head. Remember that time that I got stuck trying on a shirt at Target? Yep. Thanks shoulder. It was good times. It took 18 months, but I have a full range of motion in my arm again. There is still some scar tissue there, but it doesn’t hurt anymore. At the time it was so painful and I was sure it was going to last forever… and now I don’t even think about it.

I’m trying to keep that as my focus: that even though my hips are jerks, someday they will be healed and I won’t even think about this anymore. I’ll be able to do whatever I want and not have to worry about them sliding out of place. Someday this will be a distant memory.

…it’s just not today.

So, I took it easy tonight and I will again tomorrow. And once my hips have stopped yelling at me, I’ll try again. In the meantime, I can focus on cleaning up what I’m eating and think good thoughts.

Someday I will not be broken.. and that will be a glorious day. <3