Off The Wagon*

For the past seven weeks I’ve been eating like crap.

I was pretty well off most sugar for 12 weeks leading up to my brother’s wedding, and I felt amazing. I lost some weight, my clothes fit better and my body just felt better.

But it was hard. I am an emotional eater, and finding new (healthier) coping mechanisms for my stress was a constant battle. As my coursework started ramping up and Will started sleeping less my armour chipped a little and I gave into one small temptation.

Then another, and another, and another.

Before I knew it, I was right back where I started. I’m not proud of it, but it is what it is. February and March were two of the most challenging months I’ve endured in a long, long time. My plate was not only full, it had spilled over on the floor and I slipped in it.

I gave myself a pass until my course was done, and now it’s time to get back to business. I’ve been feeling really off lately, and I know it’s directly related to my diet. I’ve indulged and enjoyed things I know I shouldn’t eat, and my body has responded in kind. I’ve felt sluggish, nauseous, headachy and gross–all the things that went away when I cut out the refined sugar.

I made a goal to start again tomorrow. (So obviously I ate most of a pan of brownies today. I’m horrible.)

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit embarrassed to admit to you that I’ve fallen so hard off the healthy eating wagon… I felt so dang proud of myself for getting things under control a few months ago. However, I’m realizing that for me, getting healthy and changing my eating habits is going to be a marathon, not a sprint.

As hard as I know the next few days will be, I’m excited to start again. I know I can do it, and this time I know how well my body responds to it. Of all the changes I’ve ever tried with my eating habits in the past, this one was by far the most positive.

So, let me apologize in advance if I seem a little irritable or testy the next few days… I’ll be here trying to make a banana taste like a brownie.

Speaking of which, I’m not starting until tomorrow and haven’t eaten the whole pan… yet.

(I’m kidding.)

(Sort of.)