Hi, February*

So, it’s a new month.

I’m quite happy to have January behind me, and I already feel like things are looking up a little. Simply put: I had a really great day.

For starters, it was very chilly today… but the sun came out and it ended up being a beautiful, frosty day. I’ll take that as a win.

I also was able to go back into a school I used to spend quite a bit of time at–the school I originally started volunteering in before I got on the supply list. It was my first time back in over a year, and it was so nice to see some of the staff I love and visit.

While I was in the office catching up with some of the secretaries, a VP I know somewhat came through the office and stopped when he saw me. He looked at me for a minute, then said:

“You’re Shop Girl, aren’t you.”

When I replied that I was, I wasn’t prepared for what he said next. He looked at me and told me that I had just been highly recommended to the school by another VP. My face must have registered my shock, and he asked me if I had recently had an interview at MDS. When I nodded, he went on to tell me that the VP (who I was sure thought I was a total flop) had been in touch and told him that I had interviewed very well and was a strong candidate… and recommended me for any opening at their school.

I cannot even begin to tell you how surprised I was to hear that this VP had passed along a positive review completely unbeknownst to me, or how much I absolutely needed to hear it today.

For me, the very worst part of the interview process isn’t the moment when you hear you aren’t getting the job.

It’s the time waiting in between.

In this case, my interview at MDS was on Friday morning. I was told at the interview that I would hear one way or another by Monday. I didn’t actually get the call until Tuesday morning. That left me with four days to analyze, over analyze and over-over analyze everything that I said and the way I felt the panel reacted to it.

When I left the interview, I felt pretty good about everything. Within an hour I was retracing my answers and reflecting on ways I could have improved. By the end of the weekend I had ripped apart everything I said and was unhappy with the way I answered everything. By Tuesday morning I wasn’t even sure what I had said. haha!

I know I’m my own worst enemy. But after already feeling insecure about my performance, getting the call of rejection was a massive blow to my confidence. I was sure that the problem had to have been with me. How else could I explain losing out on a job that everyone was so sure I would get? I felt like I let everyone down, which added to my misery.

So, my confidence as a teacher was really shaken… but hearing that this VP was spreading the word–good words–about me, was exactly what I needed. It was validation that maybe I can still do this.

(Thank you!)

After getting a huge confidence boost, I made my way to my classes and had the best afternoon. My second period class was challenging, but my first group was a dream. Seriously. Best class EVER. We laughed, we learned–good times were had by all.

And then I got to come home to my wonderful little family. My beautiful girl just got her 6th tooth, and after today I think I can officially say that she is walking. Her confidence is growing, and more and more she is choosing to toddle on her feet rather than crawl. She is regularly taking multiple steps on her own and I don’t think it will be long before she abandons crawling for good.

So, it was a rough month and our home may be falling down around us, but I’m choosing to look for the good.

I may not be working as much as I would like, but I have a career that I love. Things in my house may be breaking, but I love my home. I am married to my best friend, and we have a beautiful daughter who lights up our lives.

And the VP at MDS didn’t think I was a complete failure. Ha.

So, here’s hoping February is a little smoother than January… but even if it’s not, I think I’ll make it through.