Dear Blank, Please Blank*

Today one of my students asked me if I lived under a rock.

As my students completed the assignment they were working on, their computer screens began wandering to a variety of different websites and games. Most were playing QWOP, a new obsession I see in every computer lab I teach in. Others were looking at prom dresses, and one group of students were reading a website and laughing hysterically. I try to be extra observant when students have free time on the computers, just so I can make sure they aren’t doing something completely inappropriate online. When I heard the laughter, I made my way over to see what they were up to. I didn’t recognize the website they were on, so I asked what it was that they were looking at.

All of the students turned around and looked at me with astonished expressions on their faces. They began giving me a hard time:

“Miss, you haven’t heard of Dear Blank, Please Blank?!”

“…do you not have a computer?”

“Do you live under a rock?”

Of course, I assured them that of course I didn’t have a computer. Because I am Amish and don’t have electricity at home.

When they were done asking me what “Amish” was, they showed me the website that was the source of their laughter. Dear Blank, Please Blank is a series of short “open letters” submitted by the site’s readers. They cover a bajillion different topics, and while not all of them are “family friendly”, they are generally hilarious. Here is an example:

“Dear Skinny Jeans,

It’s not you, it’s me.

Sincerely, the holidays.”

I personally love all the ones about teachers and students. Here are a few of my favourites:

“Dear Students,

I know when you’re texting.

Sincerely, No one just looks down at their crotch and smiles.”

——

“Dear Students,

Just because spellcheck says it’s spelled correctly, doesn’t mean you’re using it correctly. Good luck getting into ‘collage’ when you’re relying on a computer to proof-read for you.

Sincerely, Your English Teacher.”

——

Dear English Teachers,

We didn’t even put that much thought into the book.

Sincerely, Authors.

——

Dear students,

No, seriously, the internet was invented in 1903, Chuck Norris is the current president, and Christopher Columbus invented the lightbulb. I’m not kidding…

Sincerely, Wikipedia

—–

Dear School District,

Thanks for the 27 computers in our computer class.

Sincerely, Students 28-33.

—–

…and there are SO many more. It’s a gold mine! Check out Dear Blank, Please Blank for a good laugh. Orrrrr maybe you already know about it.

Since apparently I live under a rock.