• To the Man I Love*

    Four years ago today I put on a big white dress (and cute white sandals) and married my Hubster. There were no doubts, no second thoughts–just more love than I ever thought possible. In that moment I had no idea how our life would turn out, I only knew that I could no longer imagine life without him.

    Someone once told me to treasure every day because they will fly by, but I had no just how quickly the years can pass. I honestly can’t believe that it’s already been four years–that’s like officially out of “newlywed” territory! We’re oldie-weds now! We’re off to enjoy a nice dinner together and then we’re going to see the most romantic movie of the year–District 9.

    Are we romantic? haha

    We both love action films and have been waiting for this film to come out for ages. So while it’s not Sleepless in Seattle (♥), we’re excited to go. :)

    In honour of our 4 years of marriage, I want to tell you four things that I love about my Hubster. He’s only ever made one appearance as an author on my blog, so it’s really up to me to show you how fabulous I think he is.

    And he’s kinda cute too. :)

    1. He supports me through everything. While I’ve been unemployed this summer the Hubs has been wonderful in doing everything he can to help me find a job / help me not feel like a complete failure for not having one. After my nutso interview yesterday (after which I ended up in tears… there is a blog post coming) he arrived home with beautiful flowers and a huge hug. We both decided the company was stupid anyway. haha

    2. He makes me laugh. I don’t know how anyone could survive life today without laughter… he is always doing something to get me to smile, and he has the most infectious laugh I’ve ever heard. He laughs with me, never at me (ok, maybe sometimes when I do something reeeally stupid… which is actually kinda often… hahhaha) and makes every day just a little bit brighter just because he was in it. I’d give you some examples of his craziness but I might get in trouble… haha!

    3. He works so hard. My Hubs is not a giver-upper, and I’ve always admired that. When he has a problem or wants to learn to do something, he works and works until he figures it out. I’d get bored or give up, but not my Hubs! He worked so hard last winter to find a good job (in a good city… it’s equally important) and it paid off. We’re now happy as clams in our little home in Pretty City and he is doing very well at his grown-up job. When we went back for our graduations in June he was one of a handful of people in his class that had secured a good job in this crazy recession.

    4. He brings out the best in me. Through our years of marriage he has taught me over and over again that if I’m not happy with something I don’t have to settle–I can change it. One of my biggest battles has been with my self-image, and over the years my confidence in myself has grown and now is he helping me with some changes I want to make to the outside. I’ve always been “afraid” of going to the gym, but he started going with me sporadically through the winter, and yesterday came with me to sign up for a membership so that we can go together. He believes in me, even when I have little belief in myself. He makes me feel beautiful, inside and out.

    Now, I know he’s going to read this, look over at my desk (we share an office now) and tell me that I am the Queen of ‘Cheesiness’, but I don’t care. He secretly loves my cheesiness. ;)

    I love you, Hubster… thank you for a wonderful 4 years. Here’s to year five!

  • Mmmmail*

    I just spent the last several hours getting our Christmas letters ready to mail.. and I am SO excited to send them! My back is killing me and my hand is sore from writing addresses, but I love the letter we’ve written and I enjoy this year’s picture oh, so much more than last year’s.

    I’m not going to post it on here until after this weekend, when I’m hoping most people will have received it. I’m so glad that we started this tradition last year, and hope you’ll love this year’s letter just as much!!

    Shop Girl*

  • The Moment*

    This week has been INSANE. I’m exhausted and am not feeling terribly creative at the moment, so I decided I’d share something with you from a moment when I was. This was an assignment I handed in a couple of weeks ago and just got back yesterday with a glorious 87% mark. It was for a Sociocultural Perspectives course, and the assignment was to

    a) reflect on and write about an important “moment” in your life
    b) connect this moment to your understanding of learning and/or development, and
    c) consider the effects of social structures on my experience

    The format could be anything–essay, poetry, rap, video, presentation, collage–you name it, you could do it. I chose free verse poetry, and I call it, “The Moment”.

    A moment.
    One moment.

    It’s funny how one moment can impact us so greatly.
    One moment
    Can change the way we view ourselves,
    And the world we live in.

    A moment.
    One moment.

    I have always been good with words.
    I dwell on them,
    Escape to them,
    And most importantly, I understand them.
    And they understand me.
    I sometimes forget that others aren’t friends with words the way that I am…

    …or maybe they just aren’t friends yet.

    I love to introduce people to words.
    Last year I introduced Danny to words.
    He struggled at first,
    As many grade two’s do,
    And wanted to understand them like I do.

    So together we looked,
    And pondered,
    And struggled.
    But the words wouldn’t come to Danny.

    …until one day they did
    On a Tuesday morning.
    After months of struggle,

    A moment.
    One moment

    And the words were his.

    In his eyes
    They transformed from symbols to letters,
    From letters to words,
    From words to sentences,
    From sentences to paragraphs,
    And from paragraphs to stories.

    And he could understand like I do.

    I’ve taught things before,
    But had never witnessed that moment.

    A moment.
    One moment.
    THE moment

    When true learning takes place.
    I saw that in Danny.
    And I knew that this was what I needed to do with my life.

    I love words,
    And I want to help people love them like I do.
    I want to help others have that moment.

    THE moment.

    When it all comes together,
    And the light bulb turns on,
    And new understanding takes place.

    I used to be Danny.
    And it didn’t seem to matter if my light bulb turned on.
    Until one day,
    To one person,
    It did.
    And in that moment,
    One moment,
    I understood.

    There are so many Danny’s,
    And not enough light switchers.
    Because that takes time,
    And time is money.

    …and I guess a lot of people are broke.

    But Danny is everywhere.
    He’s you,
    He’s me,
    He’s the girl next door
    And the boy down the street.

    He’s the child who sits in the back to hide his confusion.
    He’s the girl who has learned to mimic to fake learning.
    He’s the one who is different,
    And the one that blends in.
    He’s the one who thinks he’s stupid,
    Because no one told him differently.
    He’s the one in designer clothes,
    And the one in patched up hand-me-downs.
    He’s the one that “isn’t worth the effort”
    Because “there’s no hope for him anyway”.
    (I think he’s worth it.)
    He’s the one who isn’t sure who he is
    Because his body tells him one thing,
    But his heart tells him another.
    He’s the one that everyone wants to be,
    And the one that everyone forgets.

    He’s the one who so desperately wants to learn it,
    Aches to learn it,
    Needs to learn it,
    But hides it behind a tough façade and pretends not to care.

    Because pretending is cool when nobody cares.

    …I care.

    I’m watching.

    I’m waiting
    To help you have that moment.

    A moment.
    One moment.
    THE moment.

    …and many more.

    And I can’t wait.

    Shop Girl*

  • Security Update*

    About a week ago I revealed my inner insecurities about privacy and my little blog. I posted a poll and 26 wonderful people responded. (If you haven’t yet voted, I’d really appreciate it if you did!)

    I’m not entirely sure what to do at this point. Of the 26 people that voted, 7 voted that they would not be comfortable sending me an email address for me to invite them to continue reading if I closed it to the general public. While that number makes up the minority, it’s significant enough for me to pause for a minute. I don’t want to turn any of you away… I love that you visit me. It means a lot to me!

    I’m also at a loss because I’ve learned that blogger will only let me have a maximum of 100 invited readers. While I’m not trying to make myself seem more popular than I am, it really puts a limit on the future of my readers… you know?

    So, before I do anything I’m trying to find out if there is any way around this limit, and I’m also exploring other blog hosts. I would be so sad to leave blogger as I love this spot, but I don’t want to be limited like that. Does anyone know of any other blog hosts that allows “invited readers” but doesn’t have a low limit? I’d appreciate any input you might have!

    Anyway, I’m not going to do anything drastic yet, I don’t start full-time placement for another month. I’ll keep you posted. :)

    Shop Girl*

  • Before the Bloom*

    I used to write… a lot. As a child / teenager I wrote something every day… be it a journal entry or short story, but most often I expressed myself through poetry. When I moved for the first time I stopped writing completely. I was (initially) so devastated about moving to Btown that I gave up what I loved most–my writing. University and the constant demand for academic essays removed any remaining desire to write… until I started writing here.

    I’ve even started writing poetry again… but before I’m brave enough to share anything new with you, I wanted to post the last poem I wrote as a teenager. I think it’s still my favourite piece I’ve ever written as I can still remember where I was when I wrote it, but I can also feel the way I felt when I wrote it. It was a chilly January evening and the normal chaos of my house up north had subsided to a warm silence as I watched the snowfall out a window.The air I breathe is crisp and cold– my breath breaks the still night.
    The stars in the sky shine like gold; their beauty is my delight.
    I lay in piles of fallen snow as it falls gently from the sky.

    One tiny little snowflake fluttered down amidst the breeze,
    It settled on my snowman’s crown o’rlooked by swaying trees.

    The snowman had a heav’nly glow with a twinkle in its eye.

    Its smile was made from coal with a wood pipe to complete,
    It warmed me to my soul–from my head right to my feet.

    I stared in childlike wonder at the man that I had made…

    When suddenly across the sky flashed a brilliant scene,
    A shooting star caught my eye and pulled me from my dream.
    The star soared o’er and under until finally it laid

    Somewhere in a world beyond where dreams and wishes grow.
    I closed my eyes, yawned, and tasted falling snow.
    Higher and higher rose the moon as time just passed me by.

    It was late– the icy chill in the air deepened as I lay,
    Still I laid there without care wanting just to stay.

    Knowing I must go in soon I sighed a heavy sigh.

    To leave this heaven wasn’t right–it seemed almost like a sin,
    But I bade the world goodnight and blew kisses to the wind. (2001)

    Shop Girl*

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