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A Small Bit of Closure*
I’m going back to work on Monday. Part of me is nervous that physically, I’m not ready yet. I think I am. I hope I am. My iron levels and blood pressure are still really low, but I can finally move around and walk without pain. I can also be on my feet for decent chunks of time without feeling woozy, and I can almost move from sitting to standing in a fluid motion. I still need my special tailbone pillow, and it might be the fluid motion of an 80 year old with arthritis, but I can stand up without too much pain. That’s a win. The bigger part…
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Seven Days Later.
The calendar tells me it’s been a week since everything happened, though most of it feels like a blur. Even now just writing that I still find I struggle to say the actual words: I had a miscarriage. Honestly, all the descriptors for miscarriages are awful: spontaneous abortion, fetal demise, losing a baby… no wonder no one wants to talk about it. It’s been seven days and I finally feel like I am recovering physically. I’ve had two follow-ups with my doctor in the past week, one on Friday and one yesterday. I learned that my hemoglobin levels are still extremely low, but they are stable for now. A regular,…
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We lost the baby.
I haven’t been here in a while… and this is not a post I ever thought I’d have to make. It’s been a busy few months–I went back to work full time, and shortly after I found out that we were expecting our fourth baby. It was a whirlwind of change and insane busy-ness, but all of it made us so happy. We felt so blessed. It’s taken me a few days to be able to say this without crying… but we lost the baby. I had a miscarriage on Tuesday and we’re trying to wade through this new reality and everything that has come with it. I wasn’t sure…
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That Time My Wallet Was Stolen*
My mom called me earlier tonight, but I was in the middle of putting the kids down and had to let it go to voicemail. She left me a message about needing a small favor, and asked me to call back after 8. M and I snuck downstairs to put the final coat of paint on some doors we’re working on, then I finally had a minute to call her back. She’s been working on something for church this Sunday, and asked me if it would be okay if she could share the story of something that happened to me when I was 13. It was something I haven’t thought…
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Going Back to Work. Maybe.
I’m thinking about maybe going back to work. I’ve been hemming and hawing about this for months… about when the “right time” would be. The more I think about it, I don’t really think there will ever be a perfect time. Eventually I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and do it. It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed supply teaching–I really have. More than I thought I would, to be honest. I’m still considering just trying to actively pursue that every day, instead of just working a day or two here and there as I have been the past five months. A couple of weeks ago I had…
