The post in which I “keep it real”

I was not my best self today.

I can’t seem to beat this cold. I have this horrible tight cough that gets worse at night, and I’m so congested. I haven’t had my normal voice in so long that I’m actually beginning to forget what I normally sound like. This wheezy coughy donkey voice I’ve got going on is all I can remember. I’m approaching the two week mark of no real improvement, and I just don’t know when it’s time to get outside help. I don’t want to overreact to a cold, but I can’t remember the last time I was this sick for this long.. you know? I might have to concede defeat and go get looked at if I’m still sick through the weekend.

P also had a meltdown of epic proportions today. I was having a tough time getting going this morning, so of course everything was an absolute rush to get the kids out the door to school. It snowed for the first time this morning, and while the kids were SO EXCITED, it also meant that I had to rush around to try and find warmer hats and mittens for this sudden onset of winter.

Mind you, it was -1°C this morning, but it’s going back up to 15°C tomorrow. MAKE UP YOUR MIND, WEATHER.

We finally made it to school, on time, then I set out to have a leisurely walk home with P. He generally refuses to wear most outerwear except his coat, but today was so cold I insisted on a hat. He tolerated that somewhat, but he fought me tooth and nail about mittens. I didn’t push it on the way to school as he was tucked in the stroller out of the wind, but after he got out on the way home, his hands turned red within minutes. So, I stopped and went to put them on.

He lost it.

While I crouched beside him on the sidewalk, he cried, yelled, started hitting me, ripped them off and threw them in my face. I kept putting them back on, and he hunkered down and refused to move. (Still screaming, obviously.) I was starting to attract attention from other people out walking and cars passing by, so with no other real options available, I picked him up and started carrying him home. He was still crying, kicking and flailing so I needed both arms to hold him safely, which left no hands to push the stroller. So I would push it ahead a few feet, walk to catch it, then push it again whilst holding my angry child.

…it was a really lovely walk.

He was angry and snotty by the time we got home (and to be perfectly honest, so was I), and I was soooo done. I got him undressed, put him in time out so I could breathe for a minute, and then I ate all the chocolate that I could find. I gave myself 90 seconds to find my zen, then I went back and picked up my screaming child. I just sat on the couch and hugged him, and eventually the screaming gave way to whimpering, which gave way to a long snuggle, much needed by both of us.

It’s hard to be two sometimes.

After he was finally calm and playing quietly, I set out to make this year’s front door monster. While I was up to my elbows in construction paper, I got a text from a friend who let me know I had forgotten my laptop charger on her desk at school yesterday. Of course I was so tired after working all day yesterday that I definitely passed out on the couch after writing my blog post… with my laptop ON. I checked it quickly this morning to see that I had almost no battery charge left. *sigh* I have to decide whether or not to make the half hour drive to go and get it tomorrow morning. Thankfully I dug out my old laptop and it’s still kicking… I’m just writing in between the 10 million updates and restarts it’s trying to do.

I’m still trying to reclaim our upper floor from the aftermath of our bedroom reno, so I spent a bit of time working there… but by lunch I was so wiped. I got P into bed for his nap, took some Nyquil and had a nap.

I’m not sure why I thought taking NyQuil during the day was a good idea. It did help me fall asleep quickly for my nap, but as naps are never as long as I’d like them to be, I woke up feeling so out it. I had this bizarrre spacey feeling that left me feeling a little like a bobble head. I managed to get it together enough to go pick up the big kids from school, but I’ve basically been a comatose blob ever since.

It’s just been… a day.

I ate terribly, yelled at the kids, didn’t tidy enough or get any of the things I wanted to do done… but sometimes, I just have to be okay with that. Hopefully tomorrow there will be fewer tantrums, less yelling (by everyone), less donkey voice and less chocolate chip cookies for breakfast.

Time for bed.