Ladies Night*

I went out with some new friends last night.

I totally fretted about what to wear, did my hair three times, and flew out the door in a hurry… only to realize that I had forgotten to put my wedding rings on when I was halfway down the street. I pulled over for a minute, debated what to do, then did a magnificent three way turn in my gigantic vanimal and went back home to get them.

M found it rather hilarious.

We all met at a venue I hadn’t been to in years–it’s a restaurant / lounge so it had a very different vibe than what I’ve become used to. It’s really nice and casual inside, with couches and fireplaces, as well as tables and a bar area with a dance floor. We figured it might be busier than normal on a Friday night, but we were not prepared for what we walked into: a sea of empty tables and areas with “reserved” signs on them. Basically the entire place had been booked out for birthday parties. So, here we were, a group of new mom friends, out for a night on the town and no where to go. We stood at the front for a few minutes debating whether or not we should try and stay for a bit and see if something opened or go somewhere else. We were still waiting for someone to join us, so we asked a server if we could “keep some seats warm” for one of the parties until they arrived and they were so happy and willing to accommodate us.

We found a spot and started chatting until we noticed a woman had come in and was totally giving us the stink eye. My friend called her over and, sure enough, it was her reserved space. We laughed and explained that we weren’t staying, and she looked slightly relieved but still completely annoyed that we had the audacity to sit in her area even though she hadn’t arrived yet. So, we gathered out things and snuck into another reserved table, hoping to steal a few more minutes while we decided where to go.

I think the servers could tell we wanted to stay / desperately needed a night out and managed to find us a good table at the back, away from the speakers and bar. We ordered a table full of appetizers and started talking and laughing, and before I knew it it was after 11pm.

(Which, as you know, is basically the middle of the night.)

To be honest, I’m more of a quiet restaurant person, but being in a different venue was kind of fun. The music was really loud so it was a bit hard to hear each other, but at least it was good music. They were playing 90s and 00s throwbacks all night long, and I almost felt like I was in a high school dance. There were lots of people dancing, but it wasn’t a rowdy atmosphere at all. I wasn’t brave enough to dance last night, but I’d totally go back.

Then I can bust out my sweet Elaine Benes dance moves.

I was a little nervous to go, but I’m so glad that I did. I had so much fun, and I think everyone else did too. There was a moment yesterday afternoon where I almost chickened out (I’m the best at talking myself out of things) but I decided to be brave and it was so worth it. We ate, we laughed, we talked about everything from careers to poop and we’re already planning our next night out.

As I get older, I’m realizing how important is to do this: to have a night every so often where we can shed off all our hats and just… be. To take off the mom hat, the teacher hat, the wife hat, the maid hat, the cook hat, and whatever other hats you might wear and just talk and laugh and not think about anything else for a couple of hours. While I’m exhausted today from staying out too late, I also feel recharged from being there. It felt good to dress up a little and go out, even if we did spend half the night sharing our labour stories and talking about our kids.

So, I’m glad I went. I’m glad I made the effort to talk to the mom at the park. I’m glad I met another mom at a birthday party and decided to chat instead of scrolling Facebook in my phone. I’m glad M met the dad of one of S’s friends, then talked me into inviting their whole family over for dinner where I got to know the mom. I’m glad I struck up a conversation with a mom of a new kid in H’s class. I’m glad that “Hellos” turned into “How are yous?” then longer conversations as we walked our kids into school. I’m glad we had a few playdates with kids, but also glad we decided to go out as grownups.

I’m glad we’re going to do it again.