My Top Ten Irrational Fears*

Do you ever think about about the absolutely ridiculous things you are afraid of? I’m talking about those completely irrational fears that you are a bit embarrassed about and that have no real basis in anything but that you are secretly afraid of anyway? Iiiiiiii have a couple that I usually keep secret from everyone but the Hubs, but I decided it’s time for Confessions of Shop Girl*.

Shop Girl’s Top Ten Irrational Fears*

1. Leaving my hair straightener on. I actually think I might have a touch of OCD sometimes. Whenever I leave the house I am always afraid that I’ve left my straightener on an am thus going to burn down my entire apartment building (which is virtually impossible, but somehow I imagine I could do it). I always have to check 2 or 3 times to make sure it’s off, and sometimes I even have to call home just to double check. It’s bizarre.

2. Clogging a toilet. Yes, it’s true. I am terrified that I will some day clog a public toilet. I have never (to my knowledge) had this happen, nor should it ever happen, but I alllllllways afraid of it. I ration my toilet paper to prevent it. haha

3. The dark. Yes, dear readers, I don’t like the dark. I’m not terrified of it–I can certainly enjoy some darkness–but I don’t like sleeping in it. When I was little I had a pink Glow Worm (Remember those??) and I think I got used to sleeping with a little bit of light. I now have a wonderful IKEA Moon Lamp (yes, I am 5 years old inside) in my bathroom that sheds just enough light into my bedroom, and a night light in the kitchen. Not TOO bad… but I don’t sleep as well if they are not on.

4. Expired food. This one probably goes without saying for most people, but I have a hard time eating something if I even THINK it might be expired. I read an article on CBC earlier this year that explained that you can safely eat most expired foods for up to several weeks / months after the best before date (depending on the food in question, obviously…) but I can’t do it. The Hubs laughs at me all the time because I will stand before the fridge in agony trying to decide if I can eat something or not if the best before date was yesterday. *sigh*

5. Towel snapping. You know when you have a damp towel or dish rag and you twist it a bit then snap it at someone? (Click HERE for an example) This terrifies me. It sounds like the most painful experience ever… that *SNAP* sound is lethal. I was towel snapped once a lonnnnnnng time ago and it hurt like a mother, now even the sound of it makes me run away. haha! The Hubster is not allowed to even pretend to towel snap me. No way hosee.

6. Fast food chicken. I will not tell you why I am afraid of fast food chicken lest I frighten you from ever eating it again. However, I will tell you that I have not ordered a chicken dish at any fast food restaurant since I was 8 years old. I am now almost 24. *shudders*

7. Elevators. Here’s a tricky one for you. I LOVE elevators. I love the whole concept–you get in and ZOOM! Off you go to your desired floor. I also think outdoor / glass elevators are way cool. Sooo… how does this become an irrational fear? I love elevators when no one moves in them. I like people to become mannequins when they ride with me and stop moving when the elevator does. I freak out when people jump or make the elevator move while it’s moving. I noooo like it.

8. People being mad at me. For some reason I cannot handle people being upset with me to the point that I almost fear it. I don’t think I’ve ever even had an experience where someone was absolutely livid with me, but I hate conflict. It is not my friend. Debates? Suuuure! A little argument? Okay, why not. Being mad at me? Nope. I will bend over backward to make things right.

9. Spiders. Oh sweet mother, I do not like these little beasts. They fascinate me, but I hate them. If I see one it takes everything in me not to call out for the Hubster (my knight in shining armour / Spida Killa) to come and “get it”. I’ve been better lately… after a deep breath I am able to take a ginormous wad of kleenex and remove it from my living space. If the wind blows my hair on my arm or face my immediate thought is that it couldn’t possibly be my hair, it MUST be a spider on my skin. (this happened. once. haha) But here is the bizarre part–I love watching them. If they are behind a pane of glass I absolutely love to watch them do what they do. It’s so cool.

10. Fire. This is probably my greatest fear… I am terrified of fire. Did any of you ever watch that old show “Rescue 911”? I used to watch it as a kid and there was an episode about a house fire and it scared the crap out of me and has stayed with me ever since. Even now, if the fire alarm goes off I am nervous for a lonnnnng time afterward, even if I know it was nothing. I love a good bonfire (if it is under control) but any type of fire indoors is not my friend.

So there you have it. I promise I’m not a total scaredy-cat, nor do these fears consume my life (I have not yet had to live in a bubble… life is good). They are just things that make me nervous from time to time without any really good reason.

What are your irrational fears?

Shop Girl*

P.s. If you use Twitter you absolutely must watch the following video. It’s glorious!

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