So, I haven’t written in a while.
At first it was feeling a little weighed down as I approach the one-year mark from my miscarriage, then, you know, this whole corona virus thing felt like it came out of nowhere and exploded. Seriously–think back to a week ago. What were you doing?
Last Wednesday I was enjoying an amazing day off work sans kids. I cleaned my house, went thrifting, got some groceries and relaxed. That feels like a LIFETIME ago.
I feel like I have just been a giant ball of stress since last Wednesday night. After my lovely alone day, I went to bed feeling tired but fine. We put the kids to bed, watched some TV then crawled into bed a little after 10pm. I woke up at midnight and knew something was off. My stomach wasn’t right and I could feel a fever starting.
So, naturally, I panicked.
I felt unwell and stressed and threw up, then spent hours googling Coronavirus symptoms. I immediately left the bed to be away from M, and was awake for most of the night.
It was the whitest of white nights.
As a precaution, I kept all the kids home from school the next day and M worked from home. I felt a little better in the morning, but the low fever persisted and I still didn’t feel right.
As all the major announcements began rolling out Thursday and I sat at home with my fever, my anxiety was SO high. As a supply teacher, I had worked in multiple different schools in the previous 7 days. My kids had been at school around tons of other kids. I had been out at other schools.
Did I have it?
So, there was that, then my parents and three of my siblings were on a trip to Florida. As things felt like they were unraveling here and talk of closing the border increased my stress felt palpable.
It’s official: I am a worrier. Like, I could gold medal in it. I have skills.
Then, on Thursday afternoon, I had a prearranged phone meeting with S’s teacher. We talked about why I’d kept the kids home, and she told me she had been sick with something three days earlier and noticed it seemed to be running through the class. Her symptoms were IDENTICAL to what I was experiencing and I immediately felt so. much. better. She told me that she felt almost normal after 48 hours, and I’m happy to say my bout of whatever that was followed the same course.
I’ve been fever free for 4 days now with no other symptoms, and my family is all back in Canada now so I feel much better. Last night I actually slept through the night for the first time in days. I’ve still been staying up way too late and the news still freaks me right now, but I feel like I’m settling into our new “normal”.
And I know I need to start writing again to process everything. So, here I am.
I want to try and write something everyday. This is going to be something we will read about in history books someday, and we are currently living in it. I want to record what it’s like being home in self-isolation with the kids. How I’m staying connected with friends and family. What TV shows I’m watching to stay sane. All the good things. You know.
I hope you’re doing okay wherever you are. <3