The Turn Tooth*

This has been one of the worst colds I’ve had in a long time. I rarely ever take any OTC medications–after six years of pregnancies + nursing I just got used to natural remedies and find they are usually enough to see me through. Yesterday my throat was so sore that I caved and took some Benylin to see if it would help. I was in no mood to deal with any complaining at dinner time, so I whipped up a gourmet meal for the kids: frozen pizza.

S almost never eats the crusts on her pizza. We normally have a deal where she eats to the crust and I polish them off for her. Last night I wasn’t feeling hungry so they were left untouched on her plate. M was trying to encourage her not to waste them, and asked her to have a bite. She started whining and complaining saying that they were hard and hurt her mouth. M countered back that H was eating his without any problems, to which she replied:

S: “Yeah, well H doesn’t have a turn tooth!”

M & I looked at each other to try and figure out what she meant, and as he started to tell her to just eat the crust, I asked her what a “turn tooth” was. She explained,

S: “It’s a tooth that has turned! I have a turn tooth. See?”

She popped open her mouth, and sure enough, in the middle of her otherwise perfectly straight teeth, was a turn tooth. I made her swallow her pizza so that I could get a closer look. She has been absolutely desperate to have a loose tooth since she learned that baby teeth fell out, and now both her bottom middle teeth are loose, causing one of them to turn in a little bit. Hence, the turn tooth. I gave them a little wiggle just to be sure, and when S realized what her turn tooth really was, she was positively beaming. She started wiggling it immediately.

M turned to me in horror and asked,

“…when is picture day?”

I checked the class calendar. Twelve days. I don’t think M is quite ready for the Jack o Lantern teeth phase (although I think her timing is quite appropriate). I really can’t say anything on the matter as I’m pretty sure that I didn’t have any teeth for most of my childhood. They all fell out really quickly–one of my greatest life accomplishments was that I lost three baby teeth in ONE day. I was so rich after the tooth fairy visited me that night… instead of the usual 50 cents, I had $1.50 to spend.

It was amazing.

Anyway. Wanting to preserve our baby girl in her current, perfect toothy state for one more school photo, we did what any good parents do: we bribed her. M told her that if she can hold off wiggling her turn tooth until after picture day, she’ll get a new barbie. I about died laughing and started cheering her on. I could see her weighing the options in her mind: getting to wiggle her wiggly turn tooth, or getting a new barbie. In the end, she decided to try for the barbie and settled for telling every. single. person we passed on the way to school today about her tooth and the barbie. I’m not kidding. EVERY person. I was laughing so hard by the time we got to school, as parents I’ve never even met before know my kid has a wiggly turn tooth and is getting a barbie if she can keep it in for 12 days.

She’ll probably get one either way just for trying, but I’m sure we’re winning parenting awards right, left and center here.

And just because, here is my grade 2 school photo, just as my toothless years were beginning.

You’re welcome.



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