I Don’t Even Know*

Writing every day has felt harder this month.

Not in the sense that I’m running out of things to say, but just finding time to actually do it has felt more challenging. Being sick for like, ever, didn’t help, nor have P’s less than stellar sleeping habits this past little bit. My favourite time to write is in the early afternoon when the house is quiet. P is down for his nap, and I still have hours ahead of me to get all the other things I need to do done.

Lately though, on the days I’ve been home I’ve needed those precious hours to sleep while he sleeps. While I was at the worst with my demon cold, I got him to sleep around 12:30, then I would shuffle down the hall to my bed, collapse, and sleep until I heard him stirring on the monitor. I’m feeling better now, but P has been sleeping terribly for the last week or so. I suspect he has more molars coming in, so he’s been up multiple times in the night before calling it quits sometime around 5am every day. I’ve regressed back to my Zombie Mom days, and while I no longer need the sick-naps, I need the survival-naps to make it through the day. Thankfully I ended up with a day off today, and by noon I could barely keep my eyes open. I was half asleep on the couch waiting for nap time, and I could feel the sleep tentacles wrapping their arms around me, dragging me under. I crashed for an hour and a half and woke up feeling slightly more alive.

But then I lose the “me time” I love in the afternoon. It’s a hard battle that sleep often wins.

So then begins the rush of getting the kids home from school, making dinner, activities with the kids and the bedtime routine. If I’m working the next day, we also have to add in tidying the house, making lunches and packing backpacks. Lately I’ve falling into the habit of writing before bed, which is fine, but it is just sometimes hard to squeeze in.

Or I’m so burnt out my brain feels like mush and I’m not even sure if what I’m writing is coherent or worth reading.


In six days I will have written every day for two months, and I honestly think that’s the first time in 12 years of blogging that I’ve ever done it. Part of me is tempted to try and go for the hat trick, but I’m still on the fence. We’ll see how I feel on Hallowe’en.

P was very yelly today. He woke up so early, then yelled about it all day long. My favourite yelly period was when he demanded that we both wear sunglasses in the house. He had some super cute blue baby shades on, and insisted that I wear a pair of children’s orange pumpkin shaped ones that did not fit my head in any way, shape or form. If I tried to remove them, he yelled until I put them back on. I went to the washroom and left them outside, and he yelled outside the door until I came out and shoved them back on my nose. Thankfully I was so overtired that I found the entire thing hilarious.

I have to work tomorrow, and I’m interested to see how it goes. I’m going back to the school where I had my less than favourite interview, only this time I’m there in mainstream all day. I’m scheduled to teach history, and I reeeeally hope that it’s actually history this time. The last “history” assignment I had was actually geography which is not my favourite.

Please pray P sleeps past 5am tomorrow. I like sleep.

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