Tales of a Runaway Wedding Ring*

Many moons ago, in the days before I became the Wifester, the Hubster asked me to marry him and gave me a big beautiful diamond ring. It was so sparkly and beautiful and pretty that I swore that I would never lose it. Now, in those days, I was a scatterbrained 19-year-old student (with near professional procrastinating skills… ha) who lost everything. I could never find my phone unless it was ringing, and had a notorious record for losing my inexpensive jewelry. The Hubster often not-so jokingly told me he was going to secretly replace my pretty sparkly diamond with a hunk of cubic zirconia so that when I lost it he’d still have the real one for me.

I am also notorious for not wearing my jewelry in my house. I am a total weirdo–I hate the feeling of anything on my hands or wrists when I am in my house. The second I walk through the door my watch, bracelet and rings all come off and stay off for the entire duration I am home. Then again, I cannot leave my house without them on. I feel completely naked if I don’t have them on when I leave… to the point that I will actually go back and put them on, even if I’m just running across the street. I know, I know. I’m nuts. haha!

So, when we first got married I would just take my jewelry off and leave it all over the house when we’d come home. I think I freaked the Hubs out a bit that a) I must not actually like my pretty sparkly ring as I refused to wear it at home; or b) I was going to put it in one of those REALLY good storage places and then completely forget where I left them (you know the ones I mean… they always seem like such a good idea at the time… *sigh*). I finally convinced the Hubs that I do, in fact, love my engagement ring and take it off so that I don’t destroy it while I’m at home. I am not always …delicate… as ladies should be and have nightmares of my diamond falling out and disappearing into a floor crack or waving goodbye to me as it spirals down the sink drain.

As to his second fear, in the four years (okay, okay… 3 years, 11 months) that we have been married I have never lost my engagement OR wedding ring (which I also love).

Sidebar: It may be a little difficult to see in the photo as I am the worst photographer ever, but I chose to have my wedding band engraved on the exterior, instead of the traditional interior messages. This way I can see it all the time and it’s a little different! It was terrible trying to find a jeweler who would do it (apparently it’s difficult to do on gold?) but we finally did and I love love love how it turned out. It has our names written on the top, and “Eternity” written on the bottom (what you see in the photo) as the circle is symbol for eternity.

Anyway, I digress. I love my rings and in our 4 years of marriage I have never lost them. Not once. Now here comes the best part–remember how I told you that the Hubs was convinced that I’d lose MY rings? Haaaaaa….. guess who has misplaced his wedding band at LEAST two times? (you’d almost think he was trying to send me a subliminal message or something… HA I kid, I kid. He loves me. :))

The first time wasn’t SO bad… a couple of years ago we had dinner at a friend’s home on a VERY cold day. His ring has always been a bit loose on him, so while drying his freezing hands in their washroom it slipped off his finger into their trash basket directly below the towel. Somehow he made it through the entire evening and back to our apartment before he realized his ring was missing. We tore apart the apartment before we thought to call our friends who quickly located his ring.

The second time was slightly more challenging. As university students it was often impossible to avoid taking evening classes, so it was not uncommon for the Hubs or I to be on our way home from school after 9pm. During the summer the Hubs would often take his super speedy bike to school. One night the Hubster was off at school while I was hanging out at home waiting for him to get back. At around 9:15pm the phone rang. It was the Hubster… this was our conversation:

Me: Hello?

Hubs: Hi… what are you up to?

Me: Hi love! Mmm not much, just waiting for you to get home! Why?

Hubs: Do you think you could come meet me at {insert intersection a 10-minute walk away} and bring a flashlight?

Me: …umm, are you serious? Why?

Hubs: (very hesitantly) I, uh, seemed to have dropped my wedding ring on the ground… and can’t seem to find it.

(What the Hubs DIDN’T tell me that the ring actually slipped off while he was bicycling down a steep hill–again, cold night, loose ring… we need to get that baby sized–and he couldn’t find it in the dark)

Me: …oh, love. It’s reeeeeeeally dark out. I’m not sure I’m comfortable walking that far by myself. (insert fear of wild rapists)

Hubs: Oh, okay. (sounds of heavy breathing and movement in the background) WAIT, I think I see it! Yup, I’ve got it. Never mind babe, I’ll see you soon!

My very logically thinking Hubster actually heard the ring slip off his finger and hit the pavement while he was biking. While I would have started panicking / screaming at this point, he listened as the ring rolled down the hill to try and calculate how far it would go. (He’s telling me that speed x time = distance, but that sounds like math to me so… I’m lost. haha) ANYWAY, he was able to estimate the speed the ring would go based on the speed on his little bike computer and after a few minutes of searching (and a phone call to me) he spotted the ring lying in the middle of the intersection, unharmed except for a few “love dents”.

So lovelies, the moral of the story is: size your wedding ring, or wear gloves. All the time. haha

P.s. If you haven’t already, take a peek at the post below and leave me your “Ask Me Anything!” question for my upcoming posts. :)