Snack Attack*

Occasionally, as a mother who has had their insides ravaged by pregnancy, I need to pee.

(And by occasionally I obviously mean all the time.)

This is usually when my children feel is the MOST IMPORTANT time to ask VERY IMPORTANT questions.

Questions that CANNOT wait. The fate of the universe rests on the answer, kinds of questions.

…and they almost always involve snacks.

As I disappeared for two seconds to use the bathroom, P realized that he had never eaten before ever in his life and was STARVING. He found me, and started yelling / asking (yasking?) through the door if he could have a snack. Wanting to be left alone for TWO minutes, I said yes. As I heard his feet retreat, I thought I might have a moment of peace.

…but then they came back.

P: “Mom. Mom! MOM! Can I have this snack?”

Me: “P, I’m in the bathroom. I have no idea which snack you’re talking about.”

P: “Moooom. You know. THIS one.”

Me: “P, I cannot see which snack you’re talking about. Can you please give me a minute?!”

P: “Now you can see! Look, Mom! Look! THIS ONE! Can I have it?”

Me: “Omg. For the love of ALL THAT IS HOLY, yes. Yes! I love you but GO AWAY.”

P: “…OK.”

The end.

…except, it wasn’t the end. It will never end. Snacks for life. (And mostly while I’m in the bathroom.)