I Went to the Store.

I can’t say that I ever thought that me leaving the house to go to the grocery store would be newsworthy, but these are strange, strange times.

I’ve been debating whether or not to go for three days. I haven’t been grocery shopping since March 10th, before everything went crazy. I have an online order coming from Walmart next Monday, but I’m nervous that I won’t be able to get all the things on my list. A friend told me yesterday that her order was altered with substitutions and several things were not included as they were out of stock by the time her order was ready for pick up. As we have a family full of food sensitivities, I need some pretty specific things to keep us going.

Last night I decided I was just going to do it. I can’t believe how stressed I was about going grocery shopping, but I totally was. I had another white night and slept fitfully… but I got up super early and was there 10 minutes before the store opened for regular shopping.

I wore gloves, left my purse in the van and all I took inside were my keys (zipped in my pocket), my list and one credit card. I was so grateful that the store was quiet and there were very few shoppers out. I was able to get everything on my list, plus a few bonus items I wasn’t expecting to find.

Cooking for my two gluten-free children through this has been interesting. The largest bag of GF flour that I can find in the stores is 2.5lbs, and it costs $10 a bag. I hate that it’s SO much more expensive than regular flour, but I need it to do basically anything. I lucked out and found 2 bags this morning, and may have done an excited gasp in the store when I found it. I also couldn’t order any almond milk online, but found some at the store so I am a happy, happy mama.

I was nervous about bringing things from outside into my home, so I did something that is maybe extreme but made me feel better. I brought a container of lysol wipes with me and left them in the back of my van. Instead of bagging my things in the store, I just put them all back in my cart after paying and went outside. I seriously wiped down every container or can before putting it into a bag.

I can only imagine what I looked like to people in the parking lot–standing in the sleet, wiping down my items before putting them into my bags. It took a few minutes, but I felt better about bringing them into my home after.

When I got home, I wiped down everything I had touched (purse handles, credit card, phone, steering wheel, door handles, etc), left my coat in the garage and brought everything in. Then I put everything I had worn into the wash and went straight to the shower.

I feel absolutely ridiculous saying all this, but I really wanted to to EVERYTHING I could to prevent this virus from coming into my home. My home is my sanctuary. My safe space. I almost feel like I violated it by going out, but I know we’re going to need to go to the store from time to time.

So I’m just trying to do everything I can to keep us healthy.

Someday I know I’ll probably forget how afraid I was to go to the store and all the freaking precautions I had to take just to get some raspberries and almond milk. Someday I’ll walk casually through the doors, touch all the things and not be afraid to be in an aisle with a stranger.

I’m really, really looking forward to that.