• Living With Anxiety*,  W*

    Five Seconds*

    Do you remember the show “LOST”? I was so obsessed when it first started. Then it got weird and it “lost” me. (Ha) That being said, there was a scene in the first or second episode that has really stayed with me. Jack, one of the lead characters, explains to another character how he deals with the fear he sometimes faces as a surgeon. In those moments when the fear was big, he would let himself feel it for five seconds, then he’d let it go and move on. There’s a scene shortly after where another character applies this practice and it helps her get through something really difficult. I’ve…

  • Living With Anxiety*,  Pandemic Ponderings*

    “Normal Life” Hesitant.

    I have debated back and forth about whether or not to write about this. I’ve tried very hard to steer clear of the whole topic because I know it’s very contentious and personal, and there are so many differing views and opinions surrounding it. …but this space, even while public, is personal to me. It’s where I come to sort things out, and right now I am struggling with something personal. I am not a risk taker. I never have been. The rush and exhilaration some feel that comes with taking risks, even planned ones, does not appeal to me. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that I am a…

  • Adulting*,  Living With Anxiety*

    Sometimes my anxiety is a jerk.

    It’s extremely high today, and I know exactly why: I have friends coming over tomorrow. I often feel like my brain holds two separate entities: the Rational Brain (RB) and my Anxiety Brain (AB). Sometimes they coexist peacefully. Other times my Anxiety Brain tries to stage a coup and completely take over. (She can be mean when she wants to be.) Today was a hard day. It’s felt a little like this: Rational Brain (RB): “It’s going to be so good to see my friend tomorrow. I really need this. Anxiety Brain (AB): “You can’t possibly have friends over!! Your house is a disaster. Have you SEEN your floors?!” RB:…

  • Deep Thoughts*,  Living With Anxiety*

    Looking for Peace*

    I’ve been wrestling with something lately.(Sorry, this is a bit of a long one.) It feels a little like I’m at war with myself. One half pushing for the things I feel that I “should” do because it’s expected of me, and I hate feeling like I’ve let anyone down. The side that always says “yes” because it’s easier than dealing with the discomfort that can come with saying no. The other side is quieter. It knows my heart better. It knows my limits. My anxiety. It understands that what is right for me may not be the same for someone else. It bucks trends or expectations and focuses on…