Chapter Eleven* …”We Need To Talk”
This is the story of how my husband and I met, got engaged, and were married within 8 months…
…and lived happily ever after*
So as I left off in my last chapter, my happy little world of falling in love was about to be shaken up a bit. We had now been seeing each other for about 2 weeks and there had not been a single incident… or so I thought.
The Sunday following my response to his FERP invitation Monkey Man and I headed to the Hubster’s ward for church again. From the minute we got there I could tell that something was “off” with the Hubs. I attributed it to the fact that he needed to work that afternoon, something he was not thrilled about. However, as the first hour progressed I sensed that something wasn’t right.
As soon as it ended he needed to leave for work and I went to walk him to the door. As we were walking I could tell something was troubling him, and after I made a half-hearted attempt to make a joke to lighten the mood, he turned to me and said those four little words that I think everyone hates to hear: “We need to talk”.
After my heart dropped into my stomach, the conversation went something like this:
Hubs: I don’t really want to talk here.
Me: Can you at least tell me what’s wrong?
Hubs: I just… I don’t know where this is going.
*My heart breaks into a million pieces and I start to freak out inside*
Me: …what do you mean??
Hubs: I’ve got to get to work… I’ll call you later.
And with that, I watched him walk out the front door, down the stone steps and out of my life.
…just kidding. haha! But he DID have to leave for work, and I was left standing there absolutely bewildered by what had just happened. And then, I started to freak out. Even though we had only been dating for two weeks the thought of losing him absolutely devastated me. Thankfully Monkey Man, like the good best friend he was, was there to pick me up, put me in his car, and drive me home.
During the 25 minute ride back to my house I ranted, cried, puzzled, pondered and tried to figure out what on earth could have happened to bother him so much. Monkey Man patiently sat with me and did the best he could to interpret my ramblings ( men don’t often understand female freak-outs well… but he tried so hard. haha) and then left me on my own to wait.
The Hubs was working an 8 hour shift. I had 7 hours and 15 minutes to wait. And think. And stress. So, I waited.
And I waited… in absolute UTTER agony. I’m sure that all of you have been there… it was one of those moments where you have absolutely no idea what the outcome will be and feel as though you have absolutely no control over it. I suppose I could have just said, “Ah, to heck with him!” as I would have with pretty much any other guy, but I just couldn’t. There was just something about him…
About 4 hours into my agonizing wait my phone rang. At that point in time I only had a cell phone and it was pretty much permanently attached to my ear. Every person I knew had my number and it was really the only possible way to reach me, so it went off a lot. I never ever turned it off (because I liked feeling popular… haha I’m such a loser) and for the most part my girl friends called me frequently to update me on the dramas going on in their lives.
When I answered and heard the Hubs’ voice on the other end I was unbelievably nervous. Was he going to break up with me over the phone? Was he mad at me? Did something happen? I was practically shaking. However, when I heard his voice on the other end apologizing for leaving me the way he did and reassuring me that things were still okay my spirits lifted a little. I again asked what was wrong, and he told me that we’d talk about it later but that it was nothing to stress about. As he was on his break and only had a minute, we left it at that. And I continued to wait.
The next 4 hours went by faster than the previous 4, but I was still puzzled. When he finally called me that night he was hesitant to bring up what had been bothering him because he didn’t want to offend me or hurt my feelings. Eventually he quietly told me that he would appreciate it if I either turned off my phone or didn’t answer it as often while we were together. He went on to explain that when we were together he wanted to give me 100% of his attention because he loved spending time with me, and that my constant chatting to my friends made him wonder if I was really as interested in him as he was in me.
When he finished speaking I quietly thought about our last two dates and counted the number of phone calls that I had received, answered and chatted and my cheeks burned with shame. He again reiterated that he loved that I had so many friends and that I was so outgoing and fun, but just was hoping for a little more time that could just be for us.
I didn’t even know what to say… I felt so bad. I knew that he hadn’t intended to make me feel bad, but here was this incredible man that I was CRAZY about and I had inadvertently made him question my interest in him. I began to apologize profusely to which he responded wasn’t necessary–he had only wanted to let me know what he was feeling. *swoon*
Needless to say, from that point on I tried to be more considerate about my phone. I realized that my friends and their drama could wait another hour or two and that I really did prefer just being the two of us. :)
During this time I had been keeping a journal.. and two days later I made a prediction in an entry that ended up being absolutely true…
P.s. I’m sure that all of you have experienced moments like this in your past / present relationships… care to share?