I am so completely overwhelmed right now.
Our province announced their plan for school in September, and honestly it’s not at all what I was hoping for.
Mostly because I don’t really even know what I was hoping for. There isn’t any one solution that will work for every family situation. Now that the plan is in place, we basically have two weeks to decide what to do. Trying to weigh out how I feel about this for my 8 years old vs. my 4 year old who is supposed to start JK this year all feels very heavy. Today was… a lot.
So, I’m not going to think about it anymore tonight. I’m closed.
Instead, I’m going to focus on all the good things that happened today. For example:
I got to do yoga AND shower before P woke up. Which never, ever happens. It was a really good start to my day.
There was no humidity today. It was SO beautiful out and for the first time in WEEKS it felt nice to be outside.
I spent the morning at the beach with the kids. We walked down with our pails and buckets, and I got to sit on the sand and read while they built sandcastles and collected rocks.
I had french fries for lunch. WIN.
One of my favourite songs came on the radio as I was driving home from picking up said french fries.
As I was trying to process all the news this afternoon, the kids all played quietly on their own without even being asked. For two hours, no one fought, they played independently and it just gave me a much needed minute to breathe.
No one complained about dinner tonight, and EVERYONE ate it (including P).
I had a really nice snuggle with P after dinner.
And now, I’m sitting in my quiet (clean!) kitchen with a cup of hot chocolate. As overwhelming as all of this feels right now, I also know that somehow this will work out. We will find the solution that is best for our family and we’ll move forward.
Just before I sat down to write I decided to listen to the song my mom sent me a few days ago. I loved it then, but as I’m currently wading through a new storm in my heart the lyrics of Slow Down took on new meaning today:
“In the midst of my confusion,
In the time of desperate need.
When I am thinking not to clearly,
A gentle voice does intercede. […]
In the time of tribulation,
When I’m feeling so unsure,
When things are pressing in about me,
Comes a gentle voice so still, so pure.
Slow down, slow down. Be still.
Be still and wait on the Spirit of the Lord.
Slow down and hear His voice,
And know that he is God.”
I am definitely confused and feeling so unsure right now… but listening to this brought me a bit of peace. Somehow we will figure this out.
Just not tonight.