I just got spammed in Spanish. Spanish! I’ve been spammed before, but it least it was in English and I didn’t have to find a free online translator to get an idea of what I was being spammed about. I don’t mind the occasional spam, so long as they follow my spamming guidelines:
1. Spam must be in English. Spam in languages I cannot understand is not spam, it’s gibberish. As my blog is written in English, I expect it to be spammed in English. French is permissible every so often, but please don’t make it a habit.
2. Spam must be short and to the point. You’ll probably lose me after about 5 words, so if I’m not hooked by 5 words, you lose.
3. Spam must be funny, or in the very least pertinent to the post on which I am being spammed. A while back I wrote an entry about a man who gave me hug coupons on a bus, and I received spam about hug t-shirts. It fits. However, funny is much more appreciated. Material Girl* started a group on facebook and made a joke about nudists, and shortly thereafter her group received a spam invitation to attend a nudist colony. See? Funny spam. It makes it so much more enjoyable.
4. Spam (particularly if funny) must contain a link to view said funny spammed topic. Spam with no pictures is very boring spam. And no one likes boring spam, if they like spam at all.
My spamming guidelines are pretty easy to follow… so in the future, if you plan to spam me, please follow rules 1-4. Or if you’re very thoughtful, you could follow rule 5:
5. Don’t spam me at all. Go away. I don’t like you, or your spam. Bah spam you.